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Green living, playful parenting and the pursuit of happiness

#VlogMoms: ‘What’s an event that changed your life forever?’

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warm february

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter

-Kelly Clarkson, “What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)”

Yeah, I’m quoting Kelly Clarkson. What of it?

Kelly, in turn, is referencing Nietzsche when he said “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” And studies suggest that’s totally correct. Depending on the situation, of course, but not every hardship or traumatizing event causes permanent damage. Sometimes they prepare you for something coming down the road.

This week, Jennifer of Hip As I Wanna Be asked the VlogMoms: Describe a moment in your life (other than the birth of your children) that changed you for the better forever.

Here’s my answer.

 

 

The event in question for me was pretty sucktastic on a lot of levels. I survived. And it was one of those moments, like Robert Frost’s path forking in the wood, like Robert Johnson’s crossroads, that force you to make a decision about how you’re gonna live the rest of your life. I call these moments hinges, because becoming unhinged is always a possibility.

In this case, the hinge swung me towards becoming an advocate. Towards not tolerating the intolerable. I believe people are basically good, dammit, and I was going to demand that they live up to that.

I had basically spent my whole life up to that point being told to keep quiet, to keep secrets, and I had done it because I thought the only person I was hurting was myself. I was wrong.

I can’t keep quiet anymore.

You shouldn’t either.

Make some noise. Get loud. Make your mark on the world.

Be not merely good. Be good for something.

Look,

I really don’t want to wax philosophic,

but I will say that if you’re alive,

you got to flap your arms and legs,

you got to jump around a lot,

you got to make a lot of noise,

because life is the very opposite of death.

And therefore, as I see it,

if you’re quiet, you’re not living.

You’ve got to be noisy,

or at least your thoughts should be

noisy and colorful and lively.

-Mel Brooks

What event, what hinge, changed YOUR life forever?

Tell me about it.

And check out how the rest of the VlogMoms responded:

Postscript: It’s totally 60 degrees outside. In February. I recorded this video on my deck in a tank top. Hence the harshness of the light but WHATEVER. FEBRUARY.

 

 

Guess Whose Side of the Bed that Is? (Wordless-ish Wednesday)

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lay down with dogs...

 

MINE.

As soon as I haul my tired carcass out of bed in the morning those dogs jump in my grave, leaving only for the occasional snack or pee break. I have to bribe them with treats to get them to move long enough that I can make the bed, and most days anymore I don’t even bother, because they’ll just burrow and dig the blankets back to their liking.

Seriously, why my side? What difference can it make to a dog?

Would love to hear your amateur Dog Whisperer theories.

 

 

My Favorite Love Songs (Tuesday Tunes)

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unconventional love songs

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons.

You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body.

-Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

A little indulgence, if you please.

(If you’re reading this in a reader, you may have to click through to view the videos/ hear the songs.)

 

My list begins and ends, as so many do, with Bob Dylan. But Adele takes his “To Make You Feel My Love” to a whole new soul-wrenching level. (This was what I wanted to be my wedding song.)

 

 

The most real love song of all time. G Love gets me, man. “Still Hangin’ Round.”

 

 

Mazzy Star’s “Give You My Loving.” It’s not even the lyrics so much as her voice and the music. She feels like love to me.

 

 

This is truly embarrassing, but I gulp back a sob every time Taylor Swift sings that line “he knelt to the ground and pulled a ring, and said–” in her “Love Story.”

 

 

Another Bob Dylan. The love of true friendship, taken too early. I really, deeply regret that I didn’t play “He Was a Friend of Mine” at my dad’s viewing. He would have loved that. In any case, this song came on the radio recently and I had to pull over for the tears. Music at its best: universal, raw emotion.

 

 

Edwyn Collins’ “Never Met a Girl Like You Before.” Such a sexy voice for such a dorky looking dude. They don’t play this song nearly enough on the radio, never did.

 

 

John Mayer’s “Daughters” is another one that never fails to wrench a couple of tears out of me. (Hmmm. I cry a lot.) Anyway, it’s one I think all dads of girls should take to heart.

 

 

Jake and I saw The Pixies play in November and damn, they are better than ever. He says that “Gigantic” isn’t really a love song but I think it is. And it’s a lot of fun to sing along to, especially in concert.

 

 

I started a relationship just as Romeo + Juliet was released and you couldn’t escape “Lovefool” on the radio. It’s inseparable from the movie and the feeling of being 19 for me, and that’s a good thing.

 

 

I know people say this is the ultimate breakup song. I’ve never heard it that way: to me it’s about loving someone who didn’t love you back. Loving them in spite of the way they’ve treated you. Loving yourself enough to carry on. It’s my favorite song of all time, and damn, there are a lot of covers of it on YouTube, so I’m thinking I’m not the only one who loves it.

Bob Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright.”

 

 

That’s my “off the top of my head” love song playlist.

What’re your go-to love songs?

 

That was fun. I wrote this post to play along with High Impact Mom’s Tuesday Tunes series; you should join in. Music is good for you.