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Tag: resolutions

…Were it offered to my choice…

Ben @ The Franklin Institute

…were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection

to a repetition of the same life from its beginning,

only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition

to correct some faults of the first.

So I might, besides correcting the faults,

change some sinister accidents and events of it for others more favorable.

But though this were denied,

I should still accept the offer.

from The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

Could you say the same?
Given the choice, would you live the same life over?

It’s sort of mind-boggling, so let me be more precise:

Given the choice, would you live 2010 over? Like, starting today?

I think most of us would say, hellz to the no. 2010 sucked. (That link takes you to a post with lots of profanity, FYI. Hilarious, spot-on profanity.)

So now I want you to ask yourself: what am I gonna do differently this year so it’s not just a repeat of last year’s suckage?

And more importantly, how am I going to use my experiences from last year to turn them to my advantage?

That’s key, people.

In order to truly live a life of no regrets, to live a life worth repeating even if you’re not allowed to change “sinister accidents and events of it for others more favorable,” you have to take all the crap and make it useful, worthwhile. You can’t gloss over them, bury them in the recesses of your mind, pretend they never happened. You have to own them and examine them and find the good within them. You have to figure out how to turn back and be able to say, things happen for a reason.

–This one horrible thing happened and it made me stronger.

–I made this idiot mistake and because of it, I didn’t make this other idiot mistake.

–This tragedy happened and it made me appreciate how freaking lucky I am and how beautiful my life really is.

You can’t avoid turbulence. Life is hard. A lot of it sucks.

That’s the way it is.

The question is, when life slings crap at you, are you letting it chip away at you, break you?

Or polish you into something beautiful and shining and strong?

How’s this for a new year’s resolution:

Start living a life worth repeating. Make every event count.

——–

And now, gratuitous photos from the Franklin Institute at closing time. Because it was so pretty and I can’t imagine any way I’d work them into a future post.

Happy weekend 🙂

January 7, 2011
Assignment: Pledge to be nicer

Hope this puts a smile on your face! Cass learns how to cross her eyes. An important life skill when you're six.

I will hold the door for people behind me. I will say “please” and “thank you.” I will smile at strangers. I will compliment people. If I’m not sure whether I should greet someone with a handshake or hug, I will opt for the hug. If I see someone having trouble, I will offer help. I will try to perform at least one Random Act of Kindness a week. I will be grateful. I will not hold grudges. I will always do my best to be humble, empathetic, and honest. I will be mindful and considerate of the people around me. I will be kind to people, animals, and nature. All in all, I promise to be nicer!

I’ve meant to blog about Melissa over at Operation NICE for a while now. Operation NICE is a project, a blog, a movement that “encourages individuals to be proactively nice.” That’s all. Not asking for donations, your time, your emails, or the sun and stars. Just suggesting that, given the opportunity, it might be nice if you did something nice. For no reason other than it’s the nice thing to do.

I love this. And I love the fact that Operation NICE is based right here in Philly. (Well, right over there in Philly. Close enough.)

My resolution a few years back was to be positive. It was partly why I even started this blog, to seek out things to feel good about- the everyday “wayside sacraments.” My default position was always pessimistic and defensive, and I was just tired of being that way. It took me a few months to fully realize that your outlook is entirely defined by your frame of mind, not by external events and factors. That when you let things get you down, you’re letting them get you down. You have a choice. And that when you decide to look at the entire world with unflappability- mind like water– it has a ripple effect. Or, more accurately, an anti-ripple effect. Your refusal to get all worked up about things causes other people to calm down. You realize that things turn out however they’re going to turn out, and getting upset really only affects you.

Make no mistake. Being positive is hard, hard work at first. People make fun of you.

Then it becomes a habit. And then it just becomes who you are.

I like this person much better.

This year I’m taking the pledge to be proactively nice. Before, I was just refusing to add to the negativity, but now I’m gonna add something positive. It’s going to feel silly at first, I know. I will probably get upset at people not acknowledging how I held the door for them. (I will try not to, but I can foresee this happening.) I’m hoping over time it will become a habit, and then a defining characteristic. That people, when describing me, might use the word… nice.

I’m pretty sure that’s never happened before.

Who’s with me? C’mon.

Pledge to be nicer.

Always be a little kinder than necessary.
-James M. Barrie

Getting money is not all a man’s business:
to cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life.
-Samuel Johnson

Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.
-Marian Wright Edelman

The best portion of a good man’s life-
his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.
-William Wordsworth

I expect to pass through life but once.
If therefore, there be any kindness I can show,
or any good thing I can do to any fellow being,
let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it,
as I shall not pass this way again.
-William Penn

January 4, 2011
2011: Perspective. Resolution.

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this:

To rise above the little things.

John Burroughs

Yesterday was New Year’s Day, January 1st, the beginning of a new year and the dawn of a new decade.

I dreamt of my father, who died nearly eight years ago. Eight. God. It was brought on, I imagine, because I asked my kids on New Year’s Eve to remember my Uncle George, my father’s brother, who passed this fall. I asked them to fix him in their memories, so they could tell their cousin Eva, who was born only a few weeks before his death, about him. How pleased he was when she was born.

Memory is funny, I guess; in my dreamspace it was literally like walking, talking, drinking coffee with my dad again. I guess in a sense I really was; our memories are our reality while we are dreaming. But, my rational, conscious mind kept butting in and reminding me that my dad is gone, and so there was a bit of terror mixed in- duality- I woke up drenched in sweat, and afraid.

And then so, so freaking sad, as I realized again that he was gone. But for a morning I was able to hear echoes of his voice, smell his shampoo, just remember what it was like to sit next to him. I remembered.

Later on in the day I realized I’d lost the sound of his voice again. Sigh. Does it ever get any easier?

Anyway. My point being (yes, I do have a point to make here), just because January 1 is the first day of the year doesn’t mean that everything is shiny and new. It has its highs and lows, just like any other day, just like any other week, month, year, decade.

The key to happiness, I’ve decided, is knowing that life is cyclical, in being content to ride out the low points until things start looking up, and taking the time to enjoy the sun on your face and the breeze in your hair once you reach the top.

New Year’s Day is the moment when you get to pause at the pinnacle, hold your breath and feel butterflies in your stomach, look out over the year left behind and the year ahead. It’s a moment of perspective.

An opportunity to rise above the little things, make big plans, dream lofty dreams, if only just for one day.

I don’t really have any resolutions for 2011, other than a vague “More Martha, less Roseanne.” I plan to wear heels more, just because I like the clack- clack- clack sound they make on my floors. I bought myself Fiestaware so that I would better enjoy my time in the kitchen. And I’m trying to talk my sister-in-law into a standing once-a-month movie date just to ensure I do something fun every once in a while.

I plan to feel better about myself. Just in general.

What I do have is a faded page ripped out of a Real Simple magazine, that’s been pinned to my bulletin board above my desk for years now. Words to live by. They’ve done so much good for me, I thought I’d share with you: to help with perspective in 2011.

1. Allow yourself the chance to really savor each moment.

2. Optimism isn’t just a shift in perspective. It’s an act of bravery.

3. Only you can decide the path worth taking.

4. Don’t wait for your mood to change; take action despite it.

5. Approach gift shopping as an opportunity to honor the people you really love.

6. Rather than search for a single miracle food, strive for a varied and delicious diet.

7. You can’t grow without pushing your limits.

8. Stop worrying about getting sick- focus on your health instead.

9. Don’t believe what you hear. Life is good.

10. No one knows what the future will bring. Put your energy into now.

And my own addition: take the time to notice all the little things about the people that you love. Take no one, nothing, for granted.

Happy New Year, everybody. May this year bring you everything you need.

Ferris Wheel photos taken @ Morey's Pier, on the boardwalk in Wildwood NJ.

January 2, 2011