1. The upside to healthy eating throughout the year: all the kids want from Santa is junk food. And they don’t really ask for anything else, because they don’t want to jeopardize their yearly Pop-Tarts and Coca-Cola in glass bottles.

At least, I think that’s an upside. It might just be really sad.

2. I’m not naming names, but somebody thinks he’s funny.

3. How old does a kid have to get before you stop demanding they write letters to Santa? I vote 18.