Thus pleasure is spread through the earth
In stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find

-William Wordsworth

This is my brother.

(And my SIL, ain’t she purty?)

This is a peacock.

This is a rogue peacock in my brother’s backyard.

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I found out about it on Facebook.

When I inquired as to when I might receive my peacock, my brother wrote:

Animal control said it could be aggressive.

I don’t need to show up to job interviews with a shiner I got from an angry stray peacock.

My brother had a peacock in his backyard and he called animal control instead of me. When clearly the universe intended that peacock as something my brother could give me as THE MOST AWESOME SURPRISE EVER.

This is how I feel about that.

I’m changing the number saved on his phone; next time he goes to call animal control it will dial me instead.

It’s a necessary precaution should this ever appear in his driveway.

One ought not give away stray gifts.

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In related news I saw this tweeted by the Social Media Bitch (@The_SMB) today.

My average post runs about 1400 words. This one is 195.

God help me, I’m trying REAL HARD.

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