“I repeat,” cried the Lorax,
“I speak for the trees!”
“I’m busy,” I told him.
“Shut up, if you please.”
It seems like for every one children’s movie they get right, five go horribly, horribly wrong.
Quite some time ago I heard they were making a CGI version of the primer for budding environmentalists: Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax. This is one of Cass’s favorite books; one that I’ve read so many times to three children over a decade that I can probably recite it from memory.
Which is to say: there is no way I will avoid seeing this movie in theaters.
I moaned and groaned about how Hollywood seems incapable of coming up with anything new, to be sure. I probably said something along the lines of, “The original is a classic.” Because at heart I am a cantankerous old man.
But Jim Carrey wasn’t involved, and I’m sure the visuals will be stunning, so I kept the grousing to a fair minimum.
Then a few months ago I heard that Danny Devito was to be the “sharpish and bossy” voice of the Lorax, with his “sawdusty sneeze.” This I approved of.
I saw Despicable Me, and enjoyed it much more than I expected, so I was not terribly upset to hear that both the co-director and art director of the upcoming Lorax also worked on that film.
The animated adventure follows the journey of a boy as he searches for the one thing that will enable him to win the affection of the girl of his dreams. To find it he must discover the story of the Lorax, the grumpy yet charming creature who fights to protect his world.
Also bringing their talents to the film are global superstars Zac Efron as Ted, the idealistic young boy who searches for the Lorax, and Taylor Swift as Audrey, the girl of Ted’s dreams. Rob Riggle will play financial king O’Hare, and beloved actress Betty White has signed on to portray Ted’s wise Grammy Norma.
Yes, I get that they had to flesh out the story a bit to fill two hours. But you know what? They got so caught up in “biggering, and biggering, and BIGGERING” the storyline, that they totally missed the point of the story.
I know what you are thinking.
Now listen here, Dad!
All you do is yap-yap and say, ‘Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!’
This is an important distinction to make.
Dr. Seuss handed the power to change the world directly into the hands of children.
UNLESS someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
By aging the main character old enough to have a “girl of his dreams,” Universal has taken that power away. They made saving the earth the realm of the older kid. Who, apparently, is doing it to win her affection.
They have completely ruined the essence of the story.
Dude, that sucks.
Yap-yap. Bad, bad, bad, bad.