#VlogMoms: ‘What’s an event that changed your life forever?’

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter

-Kelly Clarkson, “What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)”

Yeah, I’m quoting Kelly Clarkson. What of it?

Kelly, in turn, is referencing Nietzsche when he said “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” And studies suggest that’s totally correct. Depending on the situation, of course, but not every hardship or traumatizing event causes permanent damage. Sometimes they prepare you for something coming down the road.

This week, Jennifer of Hip As I Wanna Be asked the VlogMoms: Describe a moment in your life (other than the birth of your children) that changed you for the better forever.

Here’s my answer.

The event in question for me was pretty sucktastic on a lot of levels. I survived. And it was one of those moments, like Robert Frost’s path forking in the wood, like Robert Johnson’s crossroads, that force you to make a decision about how you’re gonna live the rest of your life. I call these moments hinges, because becoming unhinged is always a possibility.

In this case, the hinge swung me towards becoming an advocate. Towards not tolerating the intolerable. I believe people are basically good, dammit, and I was going to demand that they live up to that.

I had basically spent my whole life up to that point being told to keep quiet, to keep secrets, and I had done it because I thought the only person I was hurting was myself. I was wrong.

I can’t keep quiet anymore.

You shouldn’t either.

Make some noise. Get loud. Make your mark on the world.

Be not merely good. Be good for something.

Look,

I really don’t want to wax philosophic,

but I will say that if you’re alive,

you got to flap your arms and legs,

you got to jump around a lot,

you got to make a lot of noise,

because life is the very opposite of death.

And therefore, as I see it,

if you’re quiet, you’re not living.

You’ve got to be noisy,

or at least your thoughts should be

noisy and colorful and lively.

-Mel Brooks

What event, what hinge, changed YOUR life forever?

Tell me about it.

And check out how the rest of the VlogMoms responded:

Postscript: It’s totally 60 degrees outside. In February. I recorded this video on my deck in a tank top. Hence the harshness of the light but WHATEVER. FEBRUARY.