How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book.
-Henry David Thoreau
When I was young, I wanted to be two things. One I think everyone knows: to be a writer.
Two, I wanted to be a marine biologist. I wanted to swim with dolphins and save the whales; to travel the oceans and dive in lagoons, and I don’t know what all. I wanted to make a difference.
I can’t swim, and I suffer a touch of the agoraphobia. Meh. Mere complications.
What really killed the dream for me was sophomore year Biology.
In August, I picked up my Biology textbook from my high school book sale. It was a beautiful, heavy, photo-filled hardback, hugely satisfying, and I kid you not when I say I remember what it felt like to open that book and hear it crack for the first time.
I read that textbook like it was the latest Neil Gaiman offering (that’s what I was heavily into at the time). I took notes. The school year hadn’t even started yet. I couldn’t wait to learn. Yes, I realize how geeky that last sentence was, but it’s true.
My teacher… let’s just say our personalities did not mesh. And that she was not the most inspiring educator in the world. Oh, and by the way, she totally killed my love for science. The Godzilla of learning.
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Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood.
Daniel Burnham
A few weeks ago I saw the movie Coral Reef Adventure in IMAX at the Tropicana in Atlantic City. I’ll talk more about that movie in its own post, but suffice to say: I wept over how coral reefs have been affected since that summer 20 years ago, when I was poring over photographs of reefs in science magazines. I was awed by the divers who used their talents not only to document and access the damage done, and possibilities to turn the tide, but also to bring the vivid imagery of the beauty of our oceans to a wide audience. Who used visuals and music and words to inspire.
Who reminded me of who I used to be.
Just for kicks, since that day, I’ve signed up for swimming lessons. I’ve checked out scuba lessons, just out of idle curiosity. And I’ve priced out how much a family trip to Fiji to the Cousteau resort might cost. You know. Just wondering how much an eco-tour might set me back. Just curious as to how a citizen scientist like myself might help the cause.
I was just messing around. I couldn’t acknowledge what I might be thinking. C’mon. I’m 34 and I can’t even swim. I took a train to NYC recently by myself and I was practically having anxiety attacks worrying over whether I could miss my stop. How could I ever manage to get us to Fiji?
But, you know. I also got onto a train to NYC by myself. That’s so far out of my comfort zone it’s not even funny.
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And then I read The Unexpected Circumnavigation: Unusual Boat, Unusual People. I read about a couple, with almost no boating experience, dedicating two years of their lives to circumnavigating the globe in a powerboat. They learned what they needed to begin, and they learned the rest as they went. They persevered. And along the way they experienced so much, saw so much… that my heart just sort of cracked open.
I thought, if they can do it… if they can realize their dream… then why can’t I?
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
–George Eliot
It probably is too late for me to become a marine biologist. I’m a dreamer but I’m not an idiot.
But it’s not too late for me to make a difference.
It’s not too late for me to learn to swim, to dive, to take control of my fears and see the world for myself. And to write about it. To inspire.
I’ve always said that I want to be the next Henry David Thoreau. And HDT, god bless ’em, said, “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
It’s not too late to step confidently in the direction of my dreams.
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It’s an unexpected circumnavigation of my own… to discover that after all this time, I’m still very much the same person I was at 14. That I still have the same aspirations and castles in the sky.
It’s an astounding feeling. I can’t even tell you. I’ve circled back and yet so much has been opened up ahead of me.
What’s your dream?
Is it the same that you had when you were young?
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As a member of From Left to Write online book club, I received a copy of this book for review. All opinions are my own.
You can read other members’ posts inspired by The Unexpected Circumnavigation: Unusual Boat, Unusual People Part I on book club day, June 28th (that’s today, folks) at From Left to Write.
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I’m sorry that your professor killed your love of science! The good thing is that your love of science isn’t really dead. It’s manifesting in a different way.
First, I am so, so sorry a bad teacher killed your love of biology. I decided (after a fabulous teacher) when I was 13 I wanted to be a marine biologist, and I pursued that dream all the way through a master’s in oceanography. And along the way figured out while I love science, I am a lousy scientist. But, there are ways to make a living -and a difference – associated with science, though I am currently struggling with just that. (but it’s not usually this hard, and I’ve done some great things in my career). But most importantly ,wow, what a post. So inspiring. Thank you for sharing!
34 is not too old to think of even big career changes like marine biologist. You’ve got years yet! People make big changes like that at 40 and beyond. Especially women.
However, I’m secretly hoping you keep with the citizen scientist idea and write about it because I really loved this.
I finally figured out that dreams can become hobbies or passions. Took me a long time to get it out of my head that I have to make money at anything I loved. Some things are best done solely for passion.
Loved the image of cracking the book open for the first time–I had a full sensory memory of doing the same. I wish you could have had my bio teacher, Mr. Allen–though he didn’t inspire me to be a biologist, he did inspire me to become a teacher. He fostered my love and awe of nature that has stayed with me, 25 years later. As for your dream… why not? It sounds beautiful…Melissa
My first love was and has already been writing but I too fell in love with biology in high school. So much so that I decided to major in it in college. But mono and freshman chemistry killed that dream. By sophomore year, I had transferred schools and changed my major to English and Writing.
I admire you for pursuing your dreams, especially if that means breaking out of your comfort zone.
Welcome to my world my little scaredy-cat blog buddy! I think it’s wonderful that you are going to learn to swim. And while I stepped out of my comfort zone for my kids, how awesome is it that you are doing it for love of the planet! You are my hero and I can’t wait to see you blog that you are leaving for your trip to Figi! While this book was difficult to read it sure inspired a lot of people!
And now I have a new favorite quote: “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
isn’t amazing how influential (positive or negative) a single teacher can be?
I thought I’d leave the response to your RV question here (I am pretty sure you asked). I’ve never driven the RV, nor any of the other trailers my parents have had through the years. I have driven a Uhaul towing a car, and our subaru towing a uhaul trailer. Neither were fun, but both were doable – I just hate having to slow down and it’s definitely harder work. Our tent camping trip earlier this year was with my brother, who has been tent camping for years. He’s now seriously investigating a pop up camper, which is smaller, can be towed by a minivan, but still offers nice creature comforts. We’re not remotely close to that – maybe after paying our dues tent camping for a few years. But I definitely see the appeal of RV-ing – it’s a fun lifestyle. Gas prices are no fun, though!
Robin, it is never too late to go after your dreams, except for only one thing to stop you, and that is your health. I should know because I have lost my good health, forever. I feel fortunate because I did get to travel a great deal until I became very ill in 2007.
My dreams now are my son’s dreams. LIke the commercial says, “I’m going to Disney World when I can! It’s not a bad place if you are disabled, and you get to go ahead of all of those waiting on line!
But Europe? Those days are over for me, no matter how much money I can.
I tell people to don’t put off your dreams because you will never know when a time will come when you may become ill, or simply too old. Do it!