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The Zen of Happiness

August 2, 2012 By Robin Strong Elton 16 Comments

dragonfly

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,
but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

―Thich Nhat Hanh

I used this same quote a mere two posts ago about getting my braces off, but I need it again to serve a different purpose. Thich Nhat Hanh, you multi-tasking devil, you.

One of the ways I describe myself in the bio I use around the internets is “amateur optimist,” and this is not entirely facetious. I’ve always been a cynical SOB. I’m snarky by nature. The TV character I identify with most is Dr. Gregory House (god bless his crotchety soul).

When I began this blog my life, my relationships, my financial situation and my spirit were spinning out of control. I was in a very deep, dark place, and I wanted to regain some semblance of my self. The better person that I knew I could be. I wanted very desperately to be happy, to not struggle just to get through today so I could wake up and do the same thing tomorrow.

I wanted to be heard, I wanted to do good, and I wanted to make a difference.

Part of that process was through photography. Taking time to discovery the miraculous beauty in all the hidden, ordinary things, people and moments of the everyday. Seeing my life through the lens and in the photo editor, I couldn’t help but observe the wayside sacraments of my life.

The life changing moment was when I realized that I was the one getting in the way of my own happiness. No matter the circumstance, no matter what anyone was saying to me or doing to me, I was the one that decided how I was affected. I was allowing— choosing— to let things get to me.

And I stopped.

Not all at once, and not 100%, but your attitude is a habit like anything else. Where an unkindness would once have broken me to tears, I maintained at least a neutral aspect and I tried to be understanding of what caused it.

 

Happiness is a choice no one can make for you.

 

I understood that the words of those who spew hate are reflections of them, not me. I learned to have a certain sympathy for the chronically mean and miserable. What sad lives we lead when we choose to not see joy and beauty and good in other people. What’s the point, for those people? What is their purpose, their guiding star?

If you believe every little thing is a big deal, then it becomes one. Whether that big deal is positive or negative, is entirely up to your perspective.

If you look for beauty, you find it. If you look for darkness… it finds you.

In any case, I fell off the optimism wagon. Don’t judge, I’m new at this.

I’ve been having a difficult time these past few months. I’ve been stressed, and I’ve felt a great number of pressures from a great number of sources, and it’s been hard keeping a smile on my face or even staying neutral. I haven’t been feeling it, and it’s why I haven’t been posting here as much as I would like.

Two things have happened in very quick succession these past 24 hours, that I’m choosing to believe is the Universe telling me to get a grip.

The first is this.

 

smile

 

Tell me that thing isn’t smiling at me. You can never tell what you’re going to get, taking these macro shots.

A little surprise for when I got back to my computer.

 

 

I really believe that the resting state of Nature is happiness, positive energy. That sounds like hippie BS, I know, and I’m not sorry.

 

dear, dear,
what a fat, happy face it has
this peony!

Issa

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

-William Wordsworth

 

I could go on all day but you get the point. There are a lot of intelligent, beautiful people talking about the happiness of nature. Hell, even Sylvia Plath in The Bell Jar wrote “I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, “This is what it is to be happy.”

Zen text instructs us to be “empty vessels,” to have “mind like water.”

Go outside, be still and empty, and you will find yourself filled. We become unhappy when we close ourselves off from the beauty and happiness that courses all around us. Open up your heart and your spirit to the world and the people around you and believe you deserve to receive good things… and you will.

 

A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
― Albert Einstein

 

The second thing that happened, right after a dragonfly mind-bogglingly posed for his closeup, waiting patiently while I went inside to get my good camera for the first time in months, then back in for my better lens,  revealing a series of smiling headshots…

 

 

 

 

 

 

was this headline plastered all over my newsfeeds.

Smiling Reduces Stress and Helps the Heart.

Even with our bodies, the default is happiness. Smiling, whether you’re feeling it or not, is physically good for you.

Did I just write 800 words to tell you to fake it until you make it?

I did. I did it mostly as a reminder to myself, but maybe you’ve never experienced this notion for yourself.

Your natural state is happiness.

You don’t have to go around all crazy upbeat all the time. Just be. Contentment is a natural state. Child-like.

Smile. Stop fighting it.

We all say we want to be happy. So… just do it.

It’s that simple.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard as hell.

It gets easier.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
―the Dalai Lama

Thus concludes your moment of zen. I hope someone actually reads this, and that it does them some good.

It did me a world of good writing it.

 

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Filed Under: Fitness, Health, Happiness Tagged With: health benefits nature, health benefits outdoors, health benefits smiling, zen of happiness 16 Comments

Comments

  1. Jenn says

    August 3, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this. I’m having the most miserable day (the kind where you sleep in, your coffee filter breaks and leaves you with a gigantic cup of coffee grinds, and your boss needs you to do an unscheduled emergency meeting – only you slept in… that kind of day).. I’ve been sitting at my desk stewing in my own misery and hating life, and I really needed to see this! Thanks for reminding that that all that stuff really doesn’t matter at the end of the day…

    And btw the smiling thing? Totally works. I feel 200% better already. I’m so grateful I saw this today, it’s literally been the best thing in my day so far 🙂 I hope you’re having a beautiful day.

    Reply
  2. Amy@spotonwellness says

    August 3, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Robin,
    What a fantastic post. I am a true believer that you get what you need when you need it and God will not put you through anything you cannot handle. Well, today is one of those days that I REALLY needed to read your post, hear your thoughts and absorb your words. (After a little set back last night) As of this moment today, I am putting a smile back on my face, living content in each moment and I am going to make sure that the “positive things” each day are the “BIG” things each day and not the negative ones.
    Thanks again. 🙂

    Reply
  3. AlexandraFunFit says

    August 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    It’s so true that the brain cannot tell the difference between a fake and real smile; you become the smile. Serendipitous that the dragonfly waited for you? I think not. I find it interesting that in all the pictures I’ve ever seen of you, you look like you have inner happiness and contentment.

    Reply
  4. Danielle says

    August 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    One of my favorite posts that you’ve ever written. As usual, you got in my brain and captured so many of the things that I want to say.

    Reply
  5. MCM Mama says

    August 3, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Lovely post. And the picture is awesome.

    I’ve had a lot of stress lately – much of it things that I can’t change the outcome on whether I stress about it or not. I’m staring down a potentially not so great weekend. But, today is good. And not enjoying today won’t change tomorrow. So, I need to choose to be content with today.

    Reply
  6. Debbie @ Live from La Quinta says

    August 3, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    What a beautiful post. And contentment is such a beautiful word, and really says even more than happiness. She says with a smile.

    Thank you.

    Reply
  7. Misszippy says

    August 3, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    In running, it is recommended to smile when you are deep into the hurt tank-it will turn you back around. So why not in life?

    I’m glad you found your happy again!

    Reply
  8. Kim @ Coffee Pot Chronicles says

    August 3, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    I needed this. I have to give a huge thanks to Danielle for indirectly encouraging me to read this post. I’ve been so out of it lately, just miserable and frustrated with my life.

    I am glad you are happy and content once again and in doing so, are inspiring others like myself who need that boost. This is such a wonderful, well written post. Thanks for sharing your words and the great pics.

    Reply
  9. Jody - Fit at 54 says

    August 3, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    LOVE THIS POST! So glad Danielle sent us this way! I have been a cynic for years due to some bad childhood experiences & then working in the Corporate world – that will do it for you. I walked away years ago from that & little by little fighting my way back. I agree – fake it till you make it! 🙂

    Honestly, Carla, MizFit, has helped me tremendously since I started to read her.

    I get the stress & unfortunately for me no money stuff. Due to economy over the past couple years, I find myself having to get back out in the real world work – which most likely means moving away from the blog world where I met amazing people – and FitFluential….. I will see what the future brings but I will keep this post to keep me not getting cynical again! 😉

    Reply
  10. Marcia says

    August 3, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    This is very timely as my mother in law will be here tomorrow and my stress has been rising to a crescendo in anticipation. It won’t be fun but I’ll do my best to see the comedy in her ways, no matter how many times she tells me most women my age are Grandmas.

    Reply
  11. Kierston says

    August 4, 2012 at 8:00 am

    Lovely post! Thank you 🙂

    Reply
  12. Coco says

    August 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    I’m an optimist, but I still needed to read this. The Wordsworth poem is one I learned as a child and still can recite by heart, but it’s been a while since I thougt about it. The dragonfly is amazing.

    Reply
  13. Miranda @ Biting Life says

    August 6, 2012 at 3:39 am

    Wow, this post was absolutely beautiful. So heartfelt and meaningful 🙂 I love your pictures of the dragonfly. That’s amazing! I’ll definitely be thinking about this post in the days and weeks to come. Thank you for writing things I’ve been thinking inside my own head.

    Reply
  14. Amanda @RunToTheFinish says

    August 6, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I couldn’t agree more! I realized this recently too and have started making some big grand steps to change the course of my life…empowering, terrifying and happy.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Weekend Reader: The Most Inspiring, Funny, and Delicious Things I Read Last Week says:
    August 4, 2012 at 9:51 pm

    […] to my Reader: Simple. Green. Organic. Happy, The Zen of Happiness. Robin’s post could also qualify as most inspirational. Read it. It’s beautiful. And it […]

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  2. The Zen of Happiness | Total Awake Blog says:
    January 3, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    […] Original Page: http://simplegreenorganichappy.com/2012/08/zen-of-happiness/ […]

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