Category: Family, Parenting

  • Book Club Day: In Stitches

    Book Club Day: In Stitches

    anthony youn

    “No more,” my father says.

    “Not going to L.A. Not this year. This year you boys study. Very important.

    This year Daddy cancel Christmas.”

     

    I know some stuff about Dwight D. Eisenhower. I learned it 25 years ago and I’ll never forget it. Stick with me here.

    • Dwight D. Eisenhower was the 34th President, running under the slogan “I Like Ike.”
    • He was the last President born in the 19th century.
    • He was the overlord of Operation Overlord, the attack on Normandy. (Not President at the time, but I don’t recall what his official title was.) He was a five-star general.
    • He ordered film footage of the concentration camps for war trials.
    • He was President when Brown v. Board of Education was handed down, and sent troops to Little Rock to protect the Little Rock Nine. He called racial inequality a question of national security.
    • Sputnik was launched while he was President.
    • He lived out the end of his life in Gettysburg PA.

    Why do I know this stuff? Because in the 4th grade I had to write a paper on a President. A list was passed around the classroom, and my last name started with S, meaning all the “cool” Presidents were taken (I got screwed again the next year, winding up with Woodrow Wilson, and as a senior in high school, when I got stuck with Amy Lowell in English class).

    I didn’t want to write it, and I didn’t tell my parents about it, and I don’t remember how he found out, but my dad was freaking appalled that I hadn’t even started working on it two weekends before it was due.

    I’ll say that again. TWO WEEKENDS BEFORE.

    So my dad disappeared for a few hours, reappearing with a STACK of Dwight D. Eisenhower and “Fun Facts about American Presidents” titles— not kids’ books, oh no, we’re talking hardcore history enthusiast tomes. He unceremoniously dumped them on my desk and told me life was canceled until that paper was done. And then closed the door.

    The irony here, of course, is that my mother was the hardass Asian. My dad was just a hardass when it came to work. Slacking inspired a sort of contempt in him, and putting off a paper just because I could was something he could not understand.

    In Stitches chronicles Anthony Youn’s journey to become a doctor, fulfilling his father’s wishes, and when he writes

    “Your brother… has shamed the family.”

    “You don’t study?” my father says, his voice rising. “You can’t become a doctor. You end up a bum on the street. You have to study every day. Christmas, too.”

    in response to Anthony’s brother getting As and (gasp) Bs on his report card, I totally get that. I smile in recognition.

    Tiger Mom Amy Chua got a lot of pushback for pushing, pushing, pushing her daughter relentlessly and seemingly unnecessarily, and I know some people can’t comprehend how you can look back on that type of parenting with affection, but I do. And I think Dr. Youn does too.

    Because as irrational as it was, it signified a sort of faith. An assertion that you can do this, I expect nothing but the best from you because I know you are fully capable of the best.

    Why would you settle for less?

    I admit, I don’t do things right away. I’m not driven that way (in fact, this post was due yesterday, I’m sorry Kim). I still tend to put things off because I figure I have time, and then life always seems to conspire against me at the zero hour.

    But I still believe that I am capable of great things. I really, honestly do, and I feel an obligation to get them done. Because I can.

    I still feel my father’s faith and hear his voice.

    He wants me to write. He doesn’t understand why I haven’t already. It’s my skill and my gift; why am I not jumping at every opportunity to practice?

    It makes me wonder about the moments that will stand out in my children’s memories.

    When I am gone, what will my voice in their heads be saying?

    Will I speak with perfect conviction? Will it inspire them to become their best selves?

    Damn, I hope so.

    Hate me now, fine. Hear me forever.

    __________________________________________________________

    Anthony Youn’s In Stitches gives readers a look into the training of a medical doctor who discovers his passion is plastic surgery. It is an awesome beach read, entertaining and full of gross medical procedures. I loved it, so go get it right now. Please and thank you.

    I received a copy of this book for review as a member of From Left to Write book club. You can read other members’ posts inspired by the memoir here.

     

  • Saint Bernard Puppy Update: Karma, Week 12

    Saint Bernard Puppy Update: Karma, Week 12

    karma

    I like dogs
    Big dogs
    Little dogs
    Fat dogs
    Doggy dogs
    Old dogs
    Puppy dogs
    I like dogs
    A dog that is barking over the hill
    A dog that is dreaming very still
    A dog that is running wherever he will
    I like dogs.

    — Margaret Wise Brown,
    The Friendly Book

    We’ve now been proud puppy owners for four weeks and have waged full-out war on fleas, dealt with a urinary tract infection, and despair of ever housetraining successfully.

    I know it can be done— if I managed to potty train the most stubborn kids on earth I can housetrain a puppy— but the urinary tract infection had her going every five minutes and on top of work and the heat and summertime kid bickering and middle-of-the-night walks I’ve been really, really close to the breaking point.

    So please, in the name of everything holy I’m taking advice on housetraining puppies.

    Please and thank you.

    Puppy update, week 12:

    green pets

    st bernard pup

     

    That’s right folks, we’ve had another 25% weight increase over the past two weeks. At this rate Karma’ll weigh more than my car before you know it.

    She’s also nearly as big as The Dogness, who was twice her size when we got her. It’s like she’s got telescopic legs.

    But it’s hard to complain, too much.

    She’s still pretty darn cute.

    beach bernard

  • Vegetable Deception, Yay or Nay?

    Vegetable Deception, Yay or Nay?

    salad

    The colors of a fresh garden salad are so extraordinary,

    no painter’s pallet can duplicate nature’s artistry.

    -Dr. SunWolf

    Once a week for three weeks, researchers from Penn State snuck puréed veggies into the lunches of 40 preschoolers.

    The kids ate the same amount by weight regardless of veggie content, doubling their veg intake and reducing their calories by 11%.

    70% rated the veggie-enhanced meals as OK or yummy, when asked.

    So, obviously the takeaway is that kids will eat veggies and not hate them, but before you run out and buy your copy of Deceptively Delicious or The Sneaky Chef I want to throw my two cents in…

    I hate the whole idea of vegetable deception.

    This stems partially from the fact that my mom was constantly telling me things were chicken and then cackling that I’d eaten mussels or whatever (meaning I had a very night ahead of me, as I can’t stomach shellfish).

    But it also just strikes me as doing our kids an injustice. Vegetables are good, y’all. They’re tasty. They’re visually satisfying. They come in their own all-natural packaging. Most require only minimal prep.

    But they’re an acquired taste, meaning that a person has to try them at least ten times before they get used to the flavor, and probably more before they enjoy and crave it.

    If you’re smothering that taste in something else until it becomes imperceptible, kids aren’t getting those initial flavor trials in. And if they don’t try them now, while they’re young and impressionable and eager to please… the likelihood of them ever trying on their own just dive off a cliff.

    It doesn’t matter if you double your kid’s broccoli intake now if he’s never gonna try broccoli later. Will you be sneaking veggies into his pasta sauce when he’s a teen? What happens when he’s making his own meals? Will he even know how to make those veggies palatable on his own?

    No, this is playing the short game; taking the easy way out.

    Parenting is hard. It means being unpopular. It means having to think of creative ways to serve up vegetables so kids will eat them. It means serving snacks and meals that are only vegetables so kids will eat just because they’re hungry.

    I’m not gonna lie, it’s an ongoing battle at our house, too. Here’s a few tips I’ve picked up over the years…

    Grow your own.

    It tastes better, for one, but kids are more likely to appreciate and try the veggies they’re cared for with their own two hands.

    Buy your own— at farmer’s markets.

    There’s a larger selection, and again, kids are more likely to appreciate and try the veggies they have a relationship with (“these came from the nice lady with the black lab”). I’ve also found that the farmers at my market are nice enough to offer samples my kids can’t refuse, and they suggest ways to cook things that I’m unfamiliar with. The kids are usually pretty open to these suggestions (more so than the things I come up with on my own). Take your kids to the market, ask for recipe tips, make sure the kids see and hear.

    Choose your own– at the grocery store.

    My kids trade off whose turn it is to go to the grocery store, and whoever the (ahem) winner is that week gets to choose stuff like the cereal for the week and the produce we buy. Maverick likes to pick out the weird stuff we’ve never tried, like horned melon. To be honest I was the one who balked at eating that one 🙂 The kids couldn’t wait to cut into the exotic fruit.

    Get the kids cooking.

    I think kids should start cooking at as early an age as possible. It instills a knowledge of how much work goes into your preparation of a meal on a nightly basis, which means they’re less likely to arbitrarily turn up their nose at whatever is served. But they’ll also eat a few bites of a dish they’ve prepared themselves.

    Be adventurous.

    Let the kids pick out a recipe to try. Sometimes they’ll be successes… and sometimes they won’t. This is such a great teaching moment that you totally lose with the vegetable deception. Try it, maybe you’ll like it. Maybe you won’t. Maybe it will be just awful. It’s not the end of the world.

    Learn from the experience, cut your losses (although I always choke down a few bites for the sake of being polite, another good lesson to model), and move on. One of the most important lessons you can ever teach your children, really— don’t let the possibility of failure affect your willingness to take a risk. That’s what life is all about.

    Go raw.

    Kids have more sensitive smell receptors than we do, and cooking veggies enhances their scent, which is why some kids will actually gag when you try to get some wilty broccoli into their mouths. (Sorry to keep picking on you, broccoli.) If this is the case with your child, try raw veggies and whatever dip they like. I ate veggies dipped in ketchup for years, a fact that my parents hated but tolerated because I ate TONS of greens that way.

    Croutons.

    Croutons are yummy. I dole them out like desserts. One crouton per x pieces of salad. It’s silly but it works.

    Watch your face. And your tone.

    Your kids are. Don’t expect them to eat something you’re not visibly enjoying yourself. And if your husband says things like, “I’m not touching those brussel sprouts with a ten-foot pole,” make him stop. Dads strongly influence kid eating habits, so can the dadittude.

    Other than that, it’s just perseverance… and practice. I know this is an unpopular thing to say, but being a good cook helps. If that’s not your strong point, keep trying, I swear it gets easier. Just always keep some raw veg on hand… just in case.

    My two cents just ran about a thousand words. What else is new?

     

    How do you get your kids to eat the good stuff?