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  • The MLK 25 Challenge

    The MLK 25 Challenge

    Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve.

    You don’t have to have a college degree to serve.

    You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.

    You only need a heart full of grace.

    A soul generated by love.

    -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

    Once upon a time, a man stood and spoke of a dream.

    He inspired others to dream of a better world. To be better themselves.

    Five years later another man shot him.

    —————————

    Less than two weeks ago a man opened fire in Tucson, Arizona.

    A number of people were killed, among them a little girl, born just one town over from us.

    We may ask ourselves if we’ve shown enough kindness and generosity and compassion to the people in our lives.  Perhaps we question whether we’re doing right by our children, or our community, whether our priorities are in order.

    We recognize our own mortality, and we are reminded that in the fleeting time we have on this Earth, what matters is not wealth, or status, or power, or fame -– but rather, how well we have loved — and what small part we have played in making the lives of other people better…

    We may not be able to stop all evil in the world, but I know that how we treat one another, that’s entirely up to us.

    -Barack Obama, Tucson memorial

    Four years ago some jerkwad kids tipped over a porta-potty under the I-95 bridge in Wilmington, just down the street from my house. Probably on a dare. Maybe to show some bravado. Who knows.

    A DART bus driver was inside. He was paralyzed as a result.

    A few days ago my newspaper reported that they have caught the kid who did it.

    He’s 14. Which means he was 10 at the time.

    Which means he managed to ruin his life before he even started really living it.

    ————————-

    These incidents are by no means equal, or parallel, or comparative. They’re just all on my mind today. I feel like we- just humankind, in general- are hurting, raw, like a scabbed wound that has been freshly broken open.

    It’s just too much. Too much bad news in the world lately and I want to stay in bed in the morning.

    But I can’t. I have to get my kids to school in the morning. Drag my carcass out of my safe place, put on my happy face. My daughter wants to know if there really are bad men in the world. If they have guns. If they can get us.

    I tell her that yes, there are bad men. And yes, sometimes they have guns. But that also there are good people, who love her and protect her. I tell her that the good people far, far outnumber the bad people.

    I change the subject. I speak of silly things, of beautiful things, I point out all the wondrous things in the world. I can’t stop thinking about what I have said. Whether I am a liar.

    I want the world to be a better place. I want to make it that way by any means possible. I want my kids to live in a world that is beautiful and good and a damn sight better than the one I’m living in today.

    I have a dream.

    I want people to sit up, snap out of it. Maybe I’m projecting my own mental funk onto them, I don’t know. But I log on Facebook every day and I see a whole hell of a lot of complaining. I do it too. Here we’ve made a place where we can all be together, hang out, share stories and pictures and news, and most of what I see is bitching about things that can’t be changed.

    The weather. A virus. The fact that somehow, inexplicably, it’s Monday. Again.

    [Side note: approximately 1/7 of your life is Monday. Quit pissing away 1/7 of your life complaining about what freaking day it is.]

    There are a great many things that can be changed. Easily. For the better. Think if, every day, we did one of those things. And we posted that every day along with all our other various sundries. Think how wonderful that would be, scanning down a list of amazing and unique ways our friends and family and neighbors and internet associates make the world a better place.

    I have a dream.

    But, of course, I have no control or influence over what other people do, and while I am content to climb up onto my soapbox here in my personal space, I’m not going to call out people I do love and appreciate (really, I do) over completely normal behavior in a public forum.

    I’m tired of feeling sad and helpless. I need to do something.

    What I can do is change my own habits, my own life. (Again.)

    This time I’m taking the kids with me.

    ——————————-

    Today is MLK Day, which has been declared a day of service. Thousands of people everywhere took advantage of a day off to help their community in some way.

    Well, you already know how I feel about Valentine’s Day. And Mother’s Day. And Earth Day. Show your wife and your mom how you feel every day, dammit, and keep your Hallmark cards to yourself. Show some consideration for the world you share with every other person on earth and plan to one day bequeath to your children- every day. It’s nothing to celebrate, just good manners.

    And for once someone agrees with me. In a manner of speaking. Stick with me here.

    In honor of the 25th anniversary of the King holiday, a challenge has been issued. Recognizing that service is not something we have a holiday for and forget about the rest of the year, but something we should strive to make an everyday part of our lives.

    25 acts of service, of giving of yourself, to people in need, to your community, over the course of the year.

    Life’s most persistent and urgent question is:

    ‘What are you doing for others?’

    -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

    The website lists 75 ideas to start you off, but the sky is the limit. Possibilities offered are things like write a letter to a soldier. Deliver meals to homebound seniors. Clean up litter from a park. Give blood.

    Things that my kids can easily do, or at least help out with. Chances to do good for others. To see the good, the humanity, in others.

    And in themselves.

    Look, we can give and give and give stuff to our kids. Toys. Lessons. Sports. Trips. We don’t give them nearly enough opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life. To see themselves as vital, helpful. Good.

    (I’m not saying that’s why we should help people. But it’s a lovely perk, is it not? Why deprive them of that feeling? How can it be wrong to want to be a better person?)

    I just want charity, help to those who will not likely be returning it, to be second nature to them. Normal. A given. Not just one day out of the year, but whenever the opportunity presents itself. And if it doesn’t? We go looking. I bet we don’t have to go far.

    So. 25 acts of service. We’re talking two a month, with a bonus act of kindness for Christmas.

    It makes me want to cry, that such a thing is considered a challenge. Our world is seriously effed up.

    But I like lists and goals and challenges, so awaaaay we go.

    Come with us?

    Tell me: what good thing have you done today?

    Make a rule, and pray God to help you keep it,

    never, if possible,

    to lie down at night without being able to say,

    “I have made one human being, at least,
    a little wiser, a little happier, or a little better this day.”

    -Charles Kingsley

    ** P.S. I did not take this bottom photo. It’s from a stock image site. Here’s the source. **

  • You May Have Heard It Snowed

    You May Have Heard It Snowed

    Taken last year after the double blizzard

    Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing,

    wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating;

    there is really no such thing as bad weather,

    only different kinds of good weather.

    ~John Ruskin

    This snowfall was nothing like the double blizzard we got last year, of course; that time the stars aligned to bring us the perfect storm. This year the stars talked it over and decided to pick on the New York area, and we’ve received pretty much the perfect amount of snow here in the Mid-Atlantic: enough to sled easily on, but not so much that it made shoveling a body-punishing sacrifice or driving a treacherous choice.

    Last year, shoveling out the driveway and a path to our house seemed like- no, WAS- a Herculean task- where in jeebus were we going to put all the snow?

    Honestly, I don’t know what other people did. We, naturally enough, constructed a steep kamikaze snow ramp of death, complete with jump, named The Terminator. (And by we I mean Jeffrey. As I grow older I am more and more content to watch the shenanigans from the kitchen window and wave.)

    Over the years we’ve accumulated quite the sled collection, mostly as gifts. Since the kids rode these sleds down The Terminator no less than 30 bajillion times last year (that snow ramp lasted until at least Easter), I now consider myself an expert and thought I’d share the best and the worst.

    The Butt Sled

    This one seemed like a fun idea when I saw it in the catalog. It’s like a hard hat for your butt.  No sled to carry back up the hill! Just strap it onto your derriere and you’re good to go! Only, it’s a huge pain to strap on, and it doesn’t like to stay strapped on. And snow tends to pile up between your butt and the plastic. And your feet get in the way.

    And, you’re hardwired to want to have somewhere to put your hands when you go hurtling down an icy hill. So in this case you instinctively hold onto your private bits (what my kids call your “tenders”). Good for photos (which I did spare them), not so good for your hands. Lots of skinned wrists.

    Verdict: so not worth the money, not even as a gag gift. A waste of plastic and I regret falling for it, so I’m not bothering to find a link for purchase. It appears they changed the design so now it’s a pair of shorts with a butt sled built-in, which seems even more likely to fail.

    Snowboard Sled

    So, this is basically a snowboard for beginners. You solve the kid problem of “where do I put my hands.” It’s pretty durable- I assumed the handle would snap off after some use but it’s still all in one piece. The handle folds down for easy storage.

    The footprint is pretty small, so it’s clearly meant for younger kids. However, my younger kids were all inclined to sort of lean forward and put their weight on the handle, which made the nose dig into the snow. So as a learning tool for future snowboarders it kind of sucks. Jake, who has snowboarded before, was able to balance just fine but his feet would hang off the edge and get in the way.

    Verdict: good for kids who have maybe gone snowboarding before and are under a size 7 shoe. Works much better on packed, icy snow. Doesn’t do jumps at all. Feels flimsy but holds up well. Scores cool points with younger tweens.

    The Pelican Space Scooter Snowboard sells on Amazon for $28.99.

    Zipfy Freestyle Mini Luge

    Last year, we were ready to count this one out. It wasn’t as fast as some of our other sleds and was deemed a “gonad smasher.” It didn’t handle the jump well- you couldn’t keep from tipping backwards from your weight- so you were pretty much guaranteed to be flung off when you hit the ground again.

    But, with the 6 inches we got this time around, a wet and heavy snow (which is what we usually get, as storms tend to change over into the dreaded “wintry mix”), you can launch this sled off the top of our hill and ride all the way down, especially since you can guide the steering around trouble spots.

    Verdict: Pretty good for normal snow use (i.e. not hard-packed formed ramps and jumps). Kids have a place to put their hands, can steer around obstacles, and stop themselves easily before they hit the creek by just putting their feet down. Goes pretty fast and of course looks like something the ski patrol would drive. Still a potential gonad smasher if you hit something in the snow.

    Zipfy Freestyle Mini Luge currently selling on Amazon from $32.25 to $39.95 depending on color.

    Toboggan-type Sled

    This is what I think of when I think sled, so I thought it would be a clear winner. Not so. While it cruises on the hard-pack, especially if it has an icy top layer, it SUCKS in deep soft snow. Basically your weight just sinks it into the snow and you’re beached.

    We also started out the season with 3 of these and ended with just one. They don’t take life’s hard bumps well.

    On the hard pack, though? We’re talking big air with a single rider.

    Verdict: For packed snow only, soft snow is like quicksand. Since you want to either lay on your belly, like Jake is, or leaning back, this sled can be killer on your neck as you crane to see or come to a quick stop. Not much steering control to speak of. But, this was the sled 5yo Cass was most comfortable with, as she could really grip onto the handholds and had a place to brace her feet. This sled did triple-duty: I pulled Cass to the bus stop in it (otherwise she was constantly falling and getting all snowy before school), and I used it to take the groceries from the car to the kitchen in one trip.

    I think if I were going to buy another one I’d go with a longer version, since the big appeal with this sled is multiple riders. The Pelican Mega Snow Glider with Leash is $26 and seats three; I think you can find a regular two-seater at any Toys R Us for maybe 15 bucks.

    Radio Flyer

    I had one of these as a kid. Bonus points for nostalgia, plus this thing really gets going on the icy snow!

    Verdict: it handled the jump OK, although it didn’t get big air. You also have more steering capability. Downsides: expensive, and heavy to lug up a snowy hill. Not awesome in really deep snow that’s not iced over a bit, as the runners will sink under your weight. Big winner for retro style, though.

    Radio Flyer Flexible Flyer goes for $115.94.

    The Winnah: Blow-up Circle Sled

    Santa brought each of the kids one of these, but I have it on good authority that they were purchased at a mere $4.99 apiece at Target. (We used to have two hard plastic circle sleds too, that I bought at a yard sale, but they both broke before the end of the season, so no recommendation there.) Each sled came with several of those patches that you get with any inflatable, which I immediately put into a VERY SAFE place, aka the junk drawer, but we haven’t had to use them yet.

    Verdict: Smaller kids feel safer with somewhere to put their feet and handles to grab on to, and it’s easy to stop by swinging your feet down. The cushioning of air helps minimize the whiplash effect (worth mentioning that only the adults complained of this, so maybe we’re just clenching up unnecessarily). Not too heavy or unwieldy for dragging back up the hill, and of course off-season storage is a snap. These are really the best all-around, all-purpose sleds, and it’s a nice bonus that they’re affordable too 🙂

    Also: BIG AIR!!

    Yes, that’s Jeff tucked into the jump.

    Search under “snow tube” or “snow saucer” on Amazon for a huge variety of circle sleds, ranging from about ten bucks to over a hundred. Check your big box stores for better prices if you don’t carry eco-guilt about those sorts of places.

    The Frugal and Eco-Winnah:

    OK, since I didn’t buy most of these sleds I didn’t really get into the whole “which is most ecologically responsible?” question. If you have the monies to buy a hand-carved sled of sustainable wood from a local small business craftsman, then OH MY GOD DO IT and send me pictures, I’d love to feature them. Good luck getting your kids to pull it back up the hill, though. Think what rockin’ biceps you’ll have at the end of a good snow season.

    No, my suggestion here is: hang on to your big cardboard boxes. When we were kids nobody had a sled of their own, it just didn’t snow enough to warrant one (we had that Radio Flyer, but my dad was weird about nostalgic stuff like that). Whenever we got a good blanket of white everybody went to the Sears store and got refrigerator and dishwasher boxes. Just break the thing open- you can pull the front up as a handhold or do it magic carpet style.

    You can sled on a broken cardboard box any time of year, in fact- I’ve always preferred summer sledding. Not a fan of snow in my boots.

    Next up: we rate the best and worst snow shovels.

    No, I’m kidding. All snow shovels suck.

    What kind of sleds are you using? We’re looking for new ones to try!

    ————————————————-

    Disclosure: this post contains Amazon affiliate links for your convenience, which means if you choose to click on them & wind up making an Amazon purchase I will make cents on the dollar. Feel free to ignore them.

  • …Were it offered to my choice…

    …Were it offered to my choice…

    Ben @ The Franklin Institute

    …were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection

    to a repetition of the same life from its beginning,

    only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition

    to correct some faults of the first.

    So I might, besides correcting the faults,

    change some sinister accidents and events of it for others more favorable.

    But though this were denied,

    I should still accept the offer.

    from The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

    Could you say the same?
    Given the choice, would you live the same life over?

    It’s sort of mind-boggling, so let me be more precise:

    Given the choice, would you live 2010 over? Like, starting today?

    I think most of us would say, hellz to the no. 2010 sucked. (That link takes you to a post with lots of profanity, FYI. Hilarious, spot-on profanity.)

    So now I want you to ask yourself: what am I gonna do differently this year so it’s not just a repeat of last year’s suckage?

    And more importantly, how am I going to use my experiences from last year to turn them to my advantage?

    That’s key, people.

    In order to truly live a life of no regrets, to live a life worth repeating even if you’re not allowed to change “sinister accidents and events of it for others more favorable,” you have to take all the crap and make it useful, worthwhile. You can’t gloss over them, bury them in the recesses of your mind, pretend they never happened. You have to own them and examine them and find the good within them. You have to figure out how to turn back and be able to say, things happen for a reason.

    –This one horrible thing happened and it made me stronger.

    –I made this idiot mistake and because of it, I didn’t make this other idiot mistake.

    –This tragedy happened and it made me appreciate how freaking lucky I am and how beautiful my life really is.

    You can’t avoid turbulence. Life is hard. A lot of it sucks.

    That’s the way it is.

    The question is, when life slings crap at you, are you letting it chip away at you, break you?

    Or polish you into something beautiful and shining and strong?

    How’s this for a new year’s resolution:

    Start living a life worth repeating. Make every event count.

    ——–

    And now, gratuitous photos from the Franklin Institute at closing time. Because it was so pretty and I can’t imagine any way I’d work them into a future post.

    Happy weekend 🙂