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Category: Family, Parenting

  • The 5 Best Toys for Creative, Active Outdoor Play

    The 5 Best Toys for Creative, Active Outdoor Play

    silly face

    It is a happy talent to know how to play.
    -Ralph Waldo Emerson

    As we drift from spring to summer I’m seeing a TON of (plastic, expensive) toys advertised for summer play.

    Maverick and I were talking about the best things to play with outdoors, and ultimately decided that the best toys are the ones that don’t come with instructions (for putting together or for playing with). We put together this list of five toys that kids of any age will find entertaining, and some suggestions for their play use, although kids won’t need ’em. They’re open-ended for physical and/or creative play, they’re highly portable, and they’re equally enjoyable for littles, not-so-littles and adults to play with together.

    The best part? You could conceivably buy every item on this list for a total cost of, I don’t know, 30 bucks at most. In my humble opinion, these 5 things assembled into a big box would be the bestest gift set for a kid’s birthday. Or a just-because gift for the kid-at-heart.


    The Only 5 Toys Any Kid Really Needs
    (some minor cheating involved)

     

    1. A Ball to Kick & Throw

    I recommend the kickball: you know, those rubber playground balls. They make THE most satisfying thwap sound when you kick or catch them. Play traditional kickball, dodgeball, wallball, soccer, basketball (keep in mind that a goal or a net can easily be approximated with pails, baskets, or just chalk-drawn lines. There is NO need to buy those for at-home use).


    The tennis ball is another option. If you’re lucky enough to have a dog that will fetch for you, we’re talking hours of easy entertainment. When I was a kid, I would happily toss a tennis ball against the side of the house for forever, catching after the first bounce (and I’m glorying in the memory of the sound as I type this: boom, bounce, catch. Boom, bounce, catch). A tennis ball is probably also a better idea for a toddler just starting to throw and catch. And, of course, you can pull together a makeshift round of baseball, golf, croquet or tennis using some sticks or branches (or in the case of croquet, flamingos).

    Ball play doesn’t just keep children moving; it builds mind-body coordination and naturally lends to understanding of simple physics and geometry. Introduce a ball to a group of kids with nothing else to do and you’ll see creative teamwork and active communication as they decide on a game and flesh out what the rules are; social skill-building as they challenge and debate what’s “out” and what’s fair.

    2. A Rope to Jump

    Honestly, I recommend two, for double-dutch or just so you can jump along with your child. Jumping rope is AWESOME cardio and the impact helps build bone density. It also makes kids more body aware and coordinated, which will help out in any other sport or athletic endeavor. The imaginative possibilities for a length of rope are great: a jump rope can be put to use as a tightrope or lion-tamer’s whip, as Tarzan’s primary mode of transport, for designating goals for ball play or “safe” zones for tag, for tying bad guys to tree trunks.

    The rope pictured is an eco-model, 100% U.S.-made cotton rope (7 feet long and adjustable) and 100% recycled plastic handles. For a refresher on the rhymes we used to chant on the schoolyard (which build memorization, rhythm and speech skills!), try Anna Banana: 101 Jump Rope Rhymes; prices on used copies start at a penny.


    3. A Flying Saucer

    The frisbee is probably my favorite toy. As it is subject to the whims of any winds passing by it’s an equal-opportunity for cardio (meaning that no matter how talented you are at flinging and jumping, you’re probably still going to have to run after the thing). I could pass a frisbee back and forth for a good long time before I got bored, but frisbee baseball or frisbee golf are great semi-organized games for kids of all ages to play together— the relative skill set is pretty much irrelevant. In terms of imaginative play, the frisbee doubles as home plate, a dinner plate or a hat to balance on your head 🙂

    The frisbee pictured is an “EcoSaucer” made from recycled milk containers & grocery bags, and the packaging is recyclable. We have this one and I think it cost us five bucks.


    4. Tarp/Length of Fabric

    Even an old sheet would do, but I would spring for something like this one, which is lightweight, water-resistant and folds into its own case with handles. (Also comes in a bunch of colors.) It’s a tent, a picnic blanket, a cape, a tablecloth, a cloak of invisibility, a wedding veil, a set of wings, a parachute, a raft… you get the idea. The sky’s the limit as long as it’s theirs and they don’t have to worry about getting it dirty or messing it up.

    5. A Deck of Cards

    Sometimes, a kid’s gotta rest. Sometimes it rains. You can play cards by yourself or with friend(s); you can play a game you both know, or teach/learn a new game, or make one up. The really talented can build a house of cards (I do not fall into that category, but my husband does).

    We jump to the notion that cards are boring, but I think I’m probably not alone when I say I have very specific childhood memories attached to the tactile feel of a playing card, and to the sound of a sharp shuffle. In any case, we have a lot of possible educational benefits here: memorization, development of small motor skills, basic math concepts & patterns, quick decision making, anticipatory decision making, statistics, not to mention the opportunities to learn to read body language, to focus, and to just plain sit still for periods of time.

    The set pictured is an eco-edition printed on sustainable forest papers, with starch-based laminating and vegetable-based inks. Both deck and case are fully recyclable. It sells for about four bucks.

    BONUS: Don’t forget about the big box.

    No, I’m not kidding. I think this would make a great gift set for ANYONE, but especially kids of a certain age if packaged in a big ol’ box. Go to an appliance store and ask for something massive. Seriously. Think how much fun that kid will have in his clubhouse/ spaceship/ cave/ castle/ secret hideout/ whatever (and then it can be folded and used as a sled on a grassy slope).

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    In play a child always behaves beyond his average age, above his daily behavior.
    In play it is as though he were a head taller than himself.

    -Lev Vygotsky (Russian psychologist)

    Children learn by playing, and what they learn most is who they are and what they are capable of. We do them a disservice when we provide them with toys that are too solitary, too narrow in purpose, or too complicated. Or even with just too many. Keep it simple and open-ended, add plenty of free time and room to roam, and join in when you can… recapture some of those joys of childhood for yourself, and let your kids teach you a new game while you’re at it. Get out in the sunshine and play!

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    Now, there were some serious contenders that didn’t make the final cut (for instance, a bike, since it’s not technically something you “play” with), so maybe I’ll write those up as a “booster pack” sort of post.

    But first I’ll ask you: what toys would you include in your “Top Five Must-Have Toys of Childhood?“

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  • Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away

    Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away

    At first I had not understood Mama. But as I grew older, maybe not wiser, certainly more realistic, I realized she did the best she could. She loved me, in her own way. Not everyone is born to be a mother. It does not come naturally to some women. They are the ones that Allah should have made into men.

    Having spent over 400 pages getting to know Blessing, and sympathizing with the sense of want and loss she experiences as her father leaves, as her brother grows distant, and as her mother pulls away from her touch, these words wrecked me.

    Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away is the tremendously written story of Blessing’s coming of age amidst violence and poverty in Nigeria. I devoured Blessing’s recounting of surviving her father’s alcoholism and infidelity, the description of her village school, the portrayals of primitive childbirthing. I laughed when Dan, the “white man,” entered the story; his endearing social ineptness so similar to my own dad.

    I grew tense when Blessing’s brother began to wheeze with asthma, recognizing the feeling of helplessness and panic that comes when someone you love cannot draw breath. I was haunted by echoes of my mother’s fear when Blessing spoke of the Kill and Go, boys from their own land who slaughtered their own people.

    So much of this story reminded me of vignettes from my mother’s stories of her life in Vietnam, and moments from my own experience as a 12-year-old. But every so often Blessing would say something as an aside that would hit so close, suddenly twist a knife in my heart, a knife that is there always but I have grown used to over time.

    She stood up and walked toward the mesh window. For a moment I wondered if Mama was about to say ‘I love you.’ I held my breath. I had never heard those words before and wanted to hear the exact way she said them…

    Mama did not say I love you. She turned away from the window and looked through me, past me. “I hate this fucking place,” she said. And a large tear dropped onto her cheek.

    It is a truly humbling experience to realize that your parents… are people. Who come with their own baggage, their own emotional complexities, their own histories and pain and wants and needs. A tremendous shift occurs in your own relationship to your past when you move past the ego-centric memories of a child. You realize your parents’ actions and words weren’t always about you.

    Their story, and your role within it, becomes richer.

    I relive those awkward pauses where I too held my breath, thinking one of my parents was about to tell me they loved me. Those seconds stretched seemingly into eternity, broken finally by a sigh or a question about dinner.

    I wonder now if those pauses were moments where my parents wanted to say that I was loved, but their own pasts rendered them incapable of doing so. Whether their own infamiliarity with the words made it impossible for the sentiment to pass their lips.

    I wish I could go back and rush to fill those spaces myself. I love you, I love you, I love you.

    “Do you forgive Mama?” Eniye asks questions we only think about. She is our hearts exposed and beating in front of our faces…

    “There is nothing to forgive. We are all a mixture of right and wrong.”

    …I always want her to know she is loved. But I will make my own mistakes, I know. I can only hope that she will forgive me for those; forgiveness is all a parent can hope for.

    I was so afraid, when I first became pregnant, that I would not be a good mother. That it would not come naturally to me.

    I don’t tell my kids, or my husband and brother for that matter, that I love them anywhere near often enough. The words feel awkward and ugly on my tongue. I hope that they know, but I understand the words themselves are important. The memories.

    portrait

    …the best stories are told. And the very best stories are told to a daughter. Saying them out loud keeps people alive.

    …When looking at her I imagine my childhood and I live it all over again. Having children is getting to live two lives.

    I tell my kids my stories, and my parents’ stories. I tell them even though they pain me, the memories both good and bad.

    I feel, sometimes, like they miss out on a lot not having my parents here. Part of the reason it took so long for me to gain perspective is because I didn’t have the benefit of grandparents telling me what my mom, my dad were like as children. All of those little chapters that build a character. I didn’t understand them at all.

    With my parents gone, my children lack that perspective as well. So I am mindful. I tell their stories, and my stories, and when Cass asks, “Why did she do that?” I try to answer from a place of honesty and truth as best I can, and not from a place of a lonely and hurt childhood.

    I get to relive my childhood again. I get to reframe it in my own memory. I work to understand and appreciate my culture and history.

    I grow sympathetic, and stronger. I do it for my children.

    I believe this is what they call growing up.

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    This post was inspired by my reading of Tiny Sunbirds, Far Away, a debut novel by Christie Watson that you really need to go read. I received a free copy to read as a participant of From Left to Write, an online book club. Check in there tomorrow as other bloggers share their stories inspired by the novel.

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  • Seven for Saturday: News You Can Use 5/14

    Seven for Saturday: News You Can Use 5/14

    scrabble board

    Soccer started early this morning; shin guards went AWOL; my link love is later than usual. My apologies.

    Whether you need interesting dinner party fodder, something to ponder while in the shower, or just something to read while waiting in line at the grocery store: I gotcha covered.

    My favorite links from the week….


    1. Thang, innit and grrl added to Scrabble dictionary

    “Robert Groves, editor of Collins English Dictionaries and editor of the latest word list for Scrabble users, said: ”The latest edition adds nearly 3,000 new words to the existing quarter of a million available to Scrabble players. These additions are an eclectic mix of new technological jargon, overseas English, recent colloquialisms, street slang, and a few fairly well-established phrases that had not made it onto the list until now.”

    Excuse my French, but what a load of hot horse puckey. In this house we play according to the King’s English.


    2. Disney Trademarks ‘Seal Team 6,’ Name Of Unit That Killed Bin Laden

    “The applications cover ‘entertainment and education services,’ ‘toys, games and playthings’ and ‘clothing, footwear and headwear.’ “

    Henry David Thoreau said, “It is truly enough said that a corporation has no conscience,” and by that he meant, “WTF, Disney?!”


    3. Toy Soldiers Convey The Unrecorded Casualties Of War [Pics]


    I shudder to think what heroic softening glow Disney plans to put on those Seal Team 6 toys, games and playthings. My parents were the playthings of war. My uncle, permanently emotionally damaged: substance abuse problems and all the other issues that stem from there.

    Though I wouldn’t buy these for my kids either, they are a much more realistic representation of what soldiers are like… after the war is over.

    The articles focused on a single battalion based at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, who since returning from duty in Iraq had been involved in brawls, beatings, rapes, drunk driving, drug deals, domestic violence, shootings, stabbings, kidnapping and suicides. Returning soldiers were committing murder at a rate 20 times greater than other young American males. A separate investigation into the high suicide rate among veterans published in the New York Times in October 2010 revealed that three times as many California veterans and active service members were dying soon after returning home than those being killed in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. We hear little about the personal hell soldiers live through after returning home.

    It’s no different from the stupid Disney princesses. What happens after happily ever after?


    4. Tiger Mom: Here’s how to reshape U.S. education

    Yeah, I still haven’t read the book yet. But the woman knows what she’s talking about. Tiger Cub got accepted by Yale and Harvard.

    Companion reading:

    How Do We Prepare Kids for Jobs We Can’t Imagine Yet? Teach Imagination and The Creativity Crisis: Why American Schools Need Design. I linked to both in last week’s roundup.


    5. McDonald’s sales rise 6% in April, beating expectations

    DUDE. STOP GIVING McDONALD’S YOUR MONEY. Have you not seen Super-Size Me?

    6. Cooking Real Food Isn’t as Hard as the Food Industry Wants Moms to Believe

    It’s really not. I swear. Especially now, during farmer’s market season; the less you do to fresh foods the better it tastes.

    “People not being accustomed to cooking is a bigger barrier than money or class or any of those other things that people are bringing into the discussion [of real food.]”

    Would you agree?


    7. How I Healed My Child’s Cavity

    “…cavities are caused by nutritional deficiency and when this nutritional deficiency is corrected, the cavity heals. If you think about this in an open-minded manner leaving all preconceived ideas about cavities behind, doesn’t this make sense?  Shouldn’t the body be able to heal a cavity just like it heals a broken bone or a cut on your arm?  Why would teeth be any different from a broken wrist after all?”

    Interesting; all the more so because I had the shadows of a cavity forming six months ago, and I was sure that six months of not-quite-perfect brushing with new braces on meant I’d be getting that cavity filled. At my visit last week though, I was told the soft spot had resolved itself.

    Two headines I want to share just because they’re so DUH worthy:


    VIDEO:

    Several people asked if I had seen this. To be honest, I’m more disturbed by this girl’s parents decision to post a video of her shirtless on the internet, than by her choice of lovey plaything.

     

    I do love this video of a sock gone missing and the quest to find him… vaguely not suitable for children for its (split-second) cartoon depiction of a body part that rhymes with sock. Via kurositas, which always has such interesting visual stuff, particularly animation. Check it out.

    For Sock’s Sake from Carlo Vogele on Vimeo.

     


    That’s all I got. What good stuff did you see this week?