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Ready to #getafterit in 2013 (or, But Asian Girls Wear Red)

I may not be as strong as I think,
but I know many tricks and I have resolution.

―Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea

I don’t do red.

The last item of red clothing I owned was in 1989 from a store called Deb. It was a slimcut button down shirt that was cut high on the sides. It was part of an outfit on the mannequin in the window, and my mother bought me the cropped black blazer with fringe and paperbag-waist acid wash jeans the mannequin was also sporting.

I’m not sure who could carry that outfit off, other than an optimally proportioned store mannequin with no head and a whole lotta sass. Not the wholesome tween star of a sitcom, but perhaps her wisecracking, fashion-adventurous, morally questionable best friend. It was a hot mess on this 13-year-old gawky, coltish, flat-chested beanpole.

Actually, I wasn’t even a beanpole. I was still really short then.

ANYWAY, I never bought anything red after that. OTHER people used to buy me red all the time, and I wouldn’t wear their gifts, and they would ask why, and I would say, “I don’t do red.”

“What? But Asian girls wear red.”

Sigh. I have no idea where this concept comes from or why people say such things but count me out.

I know red is a power color, it signifies passion and strength and confidence, and fashion mags and well-meaning reality shows are always encouraging red for these reasons. I always saw those same reasons as more evidence I don’t do red. When I think power and passion and strength and confidence I don’t think of me.

And yet.

I’m a big believer in dressing up. I think you alter your movements and your moods to fill the shoes, so to speak. When I’m not feeling well I put on makeup and I feel better. My new thing is when I don’t feel like doing a chore I put on high heels and a party dress. Put on a smile, and studies show you’ll actually feel happier. And changing into badass fitness gear and gathering up my high-tech accessories, I’m ready to be an athlete. Fitness is my sport.

So, admittedly I was a little eh when I pulled the CrossFit Racer Long Bra Top out of the box Reebok sent me. RED. And tops with built-in bras don’t usually work on me since I don’t, strictly speaking, need the support.

You know what? Sometimes it’s really, really nice to get random things to try out. Because I never in a million years would have given this top a second glance, it’s not “my style,” and it’s now one of my absolute favorites.

It’s a flattering length. It holds in what it should. It covers what it needs to. It’s soft and the seams aren’t noticeable. It doesn’t move during a workout. Afterwards I still look pretty neat and fresh, but when I take the shirt off it tends to be soaked on the inside. It does an incredible job of wicking away the sweat so it doesn’t interfere.

It’s like zen in tank top form.

And I think I look pretty damn good in it. Even if my back has gone a little soft these past few months… I’ll get to work on that.

Look at that. Maybe Asian girls do wear red.

And maybe I do feel powerful. And strong. And confident. And passionate.

Some of that is the top. And some of that is just me. I grew up. I grew.

Dang it, why was I letting a 13-year-old girl call the shots?

________________________________________________

You may have noticed I didn’t do any New Year’s Resolution posts.

They’re coming.

I wrote some, and then I had some serious revelations on New Year’s Day, as I ran alone for 8.5 miles, the longest run I’ve ever done (by a lot. Like, 3.5 miles). One of which being the fact that I still make decisions influenced by the fears and insecurities I held as a kid.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, but mainly in 2013 I think I’ll be doing.

I’m ready to get after it this year. You?

Any ideas where the whole “Asian girls wear red” thing comes from?

________________________________________

Update:

I just googled “Asian girls wear red” and I came up with pretty much NADA. So quite possibly this is just a very weird coincidence, as I know at least half a dozen people have said this to me. Possibly just to get my goat after I didn’t wear the gifts they gave me after being scarred by dubious late 80s fashion.

January 5, 2013
Today my baby brother turned 30.

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters.

We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts.

We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets,

family griefs and joys.

We live outside the touch of time.

-Clara Ortega

My brother is 30 today.

We have a relationship as I imagine many siblings do. We don’t talk a whole lot, even though he lives ten minutes away. But when we do we could go on for hours, about anything and everything, as if we’d spent no time apart.

At seven years apart, we were never especially close as children. By the time he had become old enough to be less of a child and more of a friend, I was already a teenager and one foot out of the house, which I cringe to recollect today.

I should have been there more.

Sometimes it’s scary how similar we are, shaped by our common experience growing up in the same house and going to the same school. Sometimes I read things he has written and it takes my breath away. It sounds like something I wrote myself.

My brother takes care of me, even now when he has a beautiful family of his own. He checks in. He nods understandingly or gives me the look that says I’ve gone too far. He cheers me on as I conquer my fear of the water. He changes my oil, fills my wiper fluid.

He has a daughter so beautiful that I want to put her in my pocket and keep her small forever. I see echoes of him in her. I see glimpses of me.

We don’t do affection, although I know the affection is there. We speak fondly of each other. The horror of the months after our father’s death, my mother’s death soon after, forged something between us that no time or distance will ever erode. We survived together. We’ll do anything to spare the other living through that kind of pain again.

But sometimes you need to do more than just know the bond exists… so here you go.

A token of my love for my brother. On his birthday.

Let’s not speak of this ever again.

*NOTE: My husband didn’t realize there’s a slideshow, and I figure he’s not the only one. Start at the first pic and go through- they’re captioned!*

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January 3, 2013
Abe’s Market: Samples make great stocking stuffers!
It has long been an axiom of mine

that the little things are infinitely the most important.

―Arthur Conan Doyle

You’ve put a great deal of thought into those big presents. If you’re a reader here, maybe you’ve worked hard to find gifts that encourage your healthiest life, that are simple and non-cluttering, that are useful and practical and beautiful, that are gentle on the planet, that are made by companies that you love and trust.

And if you’re like most people, you then turn around and fill stockings with candy and little Made In China do-dads from the dollar store 🙂

I’ve done it too. But I’ve been sitting on this great idea all year and I’m happy to finally have a minute to post about it!

If you’re not familiar with them, Abe’s Market is on online store that pulls together great eco-friendly products from across the web. I’ve purchased quite a few Christmas, birthday and baby shower gifts there (their baby product selection is awesome) and the one time I had an issue redeeming a code I had from a deal site, the customer service people were very responsive and helpful.

Abe’s Market has a sample program that rocks hard.

It works like this:
- Pick out three samples for $5. Shipping included.
- Get your sampled delivered- and receive a $5 towards a future purchase.
- Marvel that you basically just scored free samples on cool eco-products.
- (Seasonal only) Put said free samples into stocking or hoard for yourself.
I think often a huge stumbling block for new eco-products is the unwillingness to take a chance on the unknown at a slightly elevated price. Trust me, I’ve been burned by products that didn’t work (anywhere near) as well as I had hoped. The option to bypass this by offering samples is, frankly, brilliant.

Granted, the sampler selection is limited, but you still get to try products you might not otherwise. Or gift them. Along with the $5 code if you’re REALLY feeling generous.

My sampler box had a bar of soap (about hotel bar size), a piece of dark chocolate covered toffee (yum yum yum), and a very small bottle of muscle pain ointment. All of which I heartily enjoyed.

Also, Abe’s Market is offering free shipping through the end of the year. AND, if you’re on the ball, get 20% off orders over $20 today with code INTHEFAMILY20 (got that in an email, so sigh up for emails for more discounts!)

Natural stocking stuffers? What do you like?

Disclosure: Once upon a time I received a $2 code for Abe’s Market samples. It was a long time ago and the sample program has changed slightly since then. The decision to post now was all mine 🙂
December 9, 2012